Maybe getting to anger

Thanks for the comments. I try to write back but I don't really know what to say on the subject. The truth is that I whirl about this so much that by the time I leave for work at eleven, I just don't want to deal with it anymore. But, thanks again for caring. I do read them in my mailbox and they have made me think.

I am in a terrible mood today. I found the five stages of catastrophic news: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. According to some shrinks, catastrophic news is basically any change of condition from the status quo.

• A change of circumstance of any kind (a change from one state to another) produces a loss of some kind (the stage changed from) which will produce a grief reaction.
  
• The intensity of the grief reaction is a function of how the change-produced loss is perceived. If the loss is not perceived as significant, the grief reaction will be minimal or barely felt.
  
• Significant grief responses which go unresolved can lead to mental, physical, and sociological problems and contribute to family dysfunction across generations.

Excellent. At least I have some battle plan that tells me how this stuff is going to shake down. I think I am done with denial and have only a bit of bargaining left in me, if anything. Because both of those sorts of behavior on my part are producing a great deal of anger which is largely directed at me, but is also spilling over into other folks that I know.

See, this stuff doesn't last forever. There will be an end. A definite end. I just have to let it run its course. A few sleepless nights and I will be fine. Before I sign off for today, I have two projects to do, yet.

A) Daily Self Hypnosis

1. I don't love her.
2. I don't love her.
3. I don't love her.
4. I don't love her.
5. I don't love her.
6. I don't love her.
7. I don't love her.
8. I don't love her.
9. I don't love her.
10. I don't love her.

B) Clark's Project (The list of Ten things I don't like about Annie.)

1. She can be moody.
2. She is inconsistent with her kids (and mine). I mean that she can roar if she has to, but I think that she lacks the backbone to be quietly strong in the face of their demands/request/cajolery.
3. ...Ugh.

Okay I have two real items now. Clark would say that I am getting closer to the reality that is Annie, instead of the fantasy I have concoted around her.